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God, Please ! Make Me A woman
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man'swish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,
Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
By then it was already 1 P.M.and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted
And, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord,
I don't know what I was thinking. Iwas so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned
Your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
Unfortunately, you'll just have to wait nine months, though.
You got pregnant last night."
God's Creations
God created the donkey and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
God created the dog and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "
The dog answered: "Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years."
God granted his wish.
God created the monkey and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. "
The monkey answered: "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
Finally God created man ... and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded: "Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused."
God granted man's wish
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man ,
Then he marries, have children and spends 30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,
Then when he is grows old,
he retires and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one child or another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
What a Life. Is'nt it ??????????
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| GUFFAWABLES
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A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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